Girl of Steel
by Fictionstv
Summary: Parody of Man of Steel featuring Kara (Supergirl) and her quest to understand her purpose in the universe. Gen. Zod approaches Earth desiring the codex threatening all life on Earth. Jimmy is Special Forces and Bruce Wayne makes a cameo appearance during the Battle of Metropolis.
1. Chapter 1

**Girl of Steel**

* * *

Jor-El put on his serious face as he approached the Kryptonian Council. "The core is collapsing. The planet only has a few weeks," he said.

"Enough with Geo-Change, we're not going to change our whole way of life to satisfy your alarmism," the lead council member said.

"We are all going to die!" Jor-El stressed.

"What would you have us do?" a council woman asked.

"Evacuate as many people as possible off the planet," Jor-El said obviously.

"Do you have any idea how much that would cost?" a council member objected.

"Maybe, we should stop sending our spaceships filled with criminals into a black hole. Just a thought," Jor-El suggested.

The council murmured in disapproval. "It is much more humanitarian to send criminals into a black hole for rehabilitation."

"Why not rehabilitate them here?" Jor-El asked.

"They could escape. Then what we do?" the council woman said.

"We would then recapture them?" Jor-El wondered.

There was a sudden explosion as General Zod and his troops entered the council chambers. "This council has been disbanded," Zod said.

"You know, there was a door. It was unlocked," Jor-El said annoyed as the dust cleared.

"On whose authority?" the council woman asked Zod.

"Mine, obviously," Zod said and proceeded to shoot her dead with his laser rifle. "The rest of you fools will be tried and punished accordingly."

"Zod, what have you done? This is madness," Jor-El said.

"Is it?" Zod asked rhetorically.

"I just said it was," Jor-El replied.

"Madness you say? This is Krypton!" Zod said and then proceeded to kick a council member out the window to his doom.

"Was that necessary?" Jor-El asked. "I was the one that asked."

"I couldn't very well kick you out the window. I still need you at my side. Join me and together we can rule the galaxy. Make it the way we want it to be," Zod said.

"I can't believe what I am hearing. You're breaking my heart, Zod," Jor-El said disappointed.

"Really?" Zod asked unimpressed.

"If you do this, you will be ruler of nothing. The planet's core will collapse in a matter of weeks," Jor-El said.

"No shit?" Zod asked astounded. "Damn, well, I guess we go with Plan B."

"What is Plan B?" Jor-El wondered.

"We murder as many people as we can, so we can earn a trip to the Phantom Zone off this planet," Zod smiled.

Jor-El gave Zod a horrified look. "Not you," Zod said obviously. "You're cool," Zod said giving Jor-El a fist-bump. "Let's go kill people," Zod said to his men.

"Hell yeah!" his men replied.

Zod then departed with his men into his spaceship with the intention of causing as much death and chaos as he could.

* * *

Jor-El summoned his dragon and flew off towards the middle of the city. Government forces battled Zod's ships in the air raining down fire on the city. Jor-El landed in a pool and swam to the bottom where he collected a broken skull. The DNA of the Kryptonian race was on this magic skull called the codex. He easily collected the fate of his race and went home without anyone noticing.

"Too easy," Jor-El smirked.

Jor-El rushed into his home that looked like an observatory on the outskirts of the city. "Laura, prepare the launch!" Jor-El yelled.

"What launch?" she asked obliviously.

"The launch that will send our daughter to another planet," Jor-El said.

"I am not aware of any such plan and why do you have a skull in your hand?" she asked.

"This is the codex. It has the DNA of our race. We must send it off into space before Krypton is destroyed," Jor-El said.

"Great, what happens to us?" Laura asked.

"We will perish with the destruction of our planet," Jor-El said gravely.

"What?" Laura said stupefied.

"I must have told you a thousand times that our planet was doomed," Jor-El said.

"I always thought you meant figuratively speaking, because you hated the government," Laura said annoyed.

"I built that spaceship in the garage to save our daughter," Jor-El said.

"You mean that piece-of-junk that will never get off the ground. You're not putting our daughter in that thing," Laura protested.

"We have no choice," Jor-El said.

Jor-El and Laura came over to the spaceship and then Jor-El placed his key in the computer slot. "What was that?" Laura asked.

"It is my consciousness downloaded into the computer chip so that I can guide her even in death," Jor-El said.

"Did you make one for me? I am her mother," Laura said outraged.

"There was no time," Jor-El argued.

"You've been researching the core for years, Jor-El," Laura said not buying his excuses.

Zod's ships arrived at Jor-El's residence and surrounded it. Zod entered the compound and found Jor-El and Laura next to the spaceship carrying their newborn daughter. "What the fuck is this?" Zod asked surprised.

"I'm sending my daughter into space with the codex to save our race," Jor-El explained.

"Oh? Carry on," Zod shrugged. "Wait, how did you have a daughter without authorization?" Zod asked suspiciously.

"I did it, Zod. I had sex with my wife and it felt good," Jor-El replied.

"HERESY!" Zod said outraged.

"It's okay, Zod. You will like it too. We can procreate like our forefathers did and save our race," Jor-El said.

"You mean, putting my thing in a female's thing?" Zod wondered.

"Exactly," Jor-El said.

"And you enjoy this?" Zod asked Laura flustered.

"Oh yeah, it's great," Laura agreed. "Except for the birth part. That was horrible."

Zod appeared uncertain. "Lieutenant Faora," he summoned.

"Sir," she said as she arrived.

"Strip. We're going to try this sex thing," Zod ordered.

As they were talking, the ship carrying Jor-El's daughter lifted off into space. Government ships arrived and turned their guns on the small craft. "Ensure that ship gets into orbit," Zod ordered.

Zod's ships distracted the Government ships allowing the small craft to leave the planet and enter interstellar space. Eventually, Zod's forces were defeated and Zod was surrounded. "You are surrounded. Lower your weapons," the Government ships ordered.

"Damn it," Zod said in defeat.

* * *

There was an immediate trial where Zod and his officers were placed before a new Kryptonian Council. Jor-El and Laura were present for the trial. "We have all declared Zod guilty of insurrection but the council must be unanimous. What say you, Jor-El?" the council leader asked.

"Guilty," Jor-El said nonchalant.

"You Son-of-a Bitch!" Zod shouted at him. "I saved your daughter."

"What daughter?" the council leader asked.

"I don't know what he's talking about," Jor-El laughed it off.

"You Bastard! I will find her and when I do, I'll do the sex thing with her," Zod promised.

"When the planet explodes, you will be trapped in the Phantom Zone forever and eventually starve to death. I cannot imagine a more horrible way to die," Jor-El said.

"I will find her and when I do, she will kneel before me. She will kneel before my...," Zod ranted until he was silenced by a clear jelly that covered his body.

The prisoners were then placed in pods and launched into a larger spaceship that lifted off into space. A portal was opened where the spaceship exited real space and entered the Phantom Zone.

"Jor-El, if what you say is true, when the planet is destroyed, these prisoners will be released from the Phantom Zone," the lead councilman said.

"Oh...crap!" Jor-El realized.

The planet Krypton shattered as its core exploded. Its red giant star also exploded disintegrating any remains of the planet.

* * *

A fishing boat went through stormy waves. The men on-board struggled to keep the boat afloat as water poured in. It was raining and the Arctic water was freezing. Kara watched all of this with a sense of awe.

"This is great TV," she said as she watched the Discovery channel. She was in a t-shirt and shorts while eating Cheetos on the couch.

"Get ready for school or you will be late," Martha reminded her.

Kara sighed and got ready for school. She was in elementary school in the middle-of-nowhere, Kansas. "When did Kansas become a territory?" the school teacher asked.

Kara found it difficult to doodle in her notebook during class. The paper looked translucent and every so often, she would poke a hole in the paper with her pen. "Kara?" the male teacher asked seeing her distracted.

Kara looked up and saw the muscles and bones of her fellow students and the teacher. Her vision would fluctuate as she saw them fully clothed, then naked, and then even more naked. To her horror, she could see her teacher's junk. Then she saw the junk of all the boys in her class.

"Excuse me while I freak out!" she said and then ran out of the classroom.

"Kara!" her teacher shouted as she left.

Kara ran down the hall and entered a closest. The teacher followed her to the closet, but Kara had locked it. "I've called your mother," the teacher said.

"Oh crap," Kara realized.

"Kara, its mommy," Martha said sweetly.

Kara became beat red in humiliation. "Kara, come out of the closet," Martha encouraged.

"I don't want to," Kara said stubbornly.

"You'll have to eventually. It's part of life. You can't hide from the world," Martha said.

Kara started to wonder whether her mother was still talking about the physical closet she was in. "Alright," she said eventually and opened the door.

Immediately, all the kids started jeering her. Kara walked out of the school with her mother humiliated. "I'll make them all pay," she promised.

* * *

Kara was soaking wet as she waded through the water and walked ashore. The school bus behind her was completely submerged in the water. "I'm not going to kill you," she said of the jeering kids. "But I don't have to save you."

Kara became a media sensation as the girl who lived from the accident. The reporters were turned away from the Clark's residence and then Jonathon Kent came over to Kara who was swinging on the swing set. "You did good. Just like I told you," Jonathon said.

"I could have saved those kids," Kara said.

"If you had, the media would make a big deal out of it. Government men in suits would take you away and conduct experiments on you," Jonathon said.

"I guess so," Kara said uncertain.

"The world doesn't need a savior, Kara. There's only one savior: Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ," Jonathon taught.

"Right," Kara agreed.

"Come on, I want to show you something," Jonathon said.

Jonathon and Kara walked into the barn where the spaceship was parked. "Wow, I never realized this was here," Kara said amazed.

"Yeah, it's because you never did a day of actual farm work," Jonathon said resentful. "Anyway, this is an alien spaceship and you're an alien," Jonathon said bluntly.

"Really?" Kara asked amazed.

"Yeah, we got pictures to prove it. We found you inside this thing when it crashed," Jonathon said.

"It must have taken several men to bring this here," Kara said in wonder.

Jonathon grimaced. "Yeah, well, we are the only ones who know of this thing. Let's keep it that way," Jonathon said.

"Sure," Kara agreed. "Was I sent here for a reason?" Kara asked.

"Probably not. Just some random coincidence that you happened to land on this planet at this time. But just because you're an accident, doesn't mean you aren't special."

"Can I still pretend to be your daughter?" Kara asked becoming emotional.

Jonathon hugged his daughter tightly. "Yes, Kara. Always."


	2. Chapter 2

In high school, Kara had her first crush. The two came over to her place while both her parents weren't around. They made out for a while and then finally took their clothes off. Under the sheets, Kara waited in silent anticipation for the moment she had dreamed about: losing her virginity. The boy got on top of her and then nothing. "I can't get in," the boy said defeated.

"What? What do you mean you can't get it in?" Kara demanded.

"I'm trying but it's not going in," he said again.

The two tried for several minutes but nothing happened. The same strength and molecular density that made her practically invincible was preventing her sex life. The boy, fully clothed, exited the house just as Jonathon Kent arrived. "Good evening, Mr. Kent," the boy said sheepishly and walked off.

Jonathon frowned and then went into the house. "What did he want?" he asked Kara.

"We just played board games and watched TV," Kara said innocently.

"Did you score?" Jonathon asked.

"Dad! How can you ask that?" Kara said embarrassed.

"It's a simple question," Jonathon said as if it were nothing.

"No, he wasn't strong enough," Kara said frustrated.

Jonathon smiled and then laughed. "It's not funny," she said as Jonathon walked off laughing.

* * *

Soon thereafter, Kara was in the hospital waiting room with her parents for the most awkward of reasons. Her would-be boyfriend was carried away on a stretcher crying. "Why?" he cried out.

Jonathon sighed as he sat down with Kara. "Did you really have to break that boy's penis?" he asked.

"It was an accident. I didn't mean to," Kara said innocently.

"Maybe...maybe sex isn't for you," Jonathon suggested.

"What?" Kara asked flabbergasted. "I can't even get pregnant anyway. I'm an alien, remember?" Kara said bitterly.

"You might be able to have alien hybrid babies," Jonathon said thoughtfully.

"If I was a boy, you wouldn't be saying this," Kara said resentfully.

"If you were a boy, I would find a way to cut off your balls to prevent you from impregnating thousands of women with alien hybrid spawn and bringing about the apocalypse," Jonathon said seriously.

"And here I thought you wanted the Apocalypse to come soon," Kara shot back.

There was silence for a few moments. "This is so embarrassing," Martha remarked. "The whole town has heard of your weird sex stories. You've become the town's slut," Martha grumbled.

"How can I be a slut if I am still a virgin," Kara objected.

"Maybe...maybe, you should leave to a major city...and become a Lesbian," Jonathon advised.

"Wait...what?" Kara asked shocked.

"I just want you to be happy," Jonathon said and then gave Kara a warm hug.

* * *

One day, Jonathon, Martha, and Kara were in the truck in the middle of a traffic jam. "Since when is there traffic in Smallville, Kansas?" Jonathon said frustrated.

"If you let me drive, this wouldn't have happened," Kara whined.

"Last time you drove the truck; you push the accelerator pedal through the floor. You're not allowed to drive until you can control your powers," Jonathon said.

"You're not even my real dad," Kara said obnoxiously.

"That was uncalled for, Kara," Martha said.

"She's right. I'm not your real dad. Your real dad is space dust," Jonathon said.

"Oh my God!" Kara cried.

"Too soon?" Jonathon mocked.

"Honey, there's a tornado on the highway," Martha said nervously.

"Son-of-bitch," Jonathon said annoyed.

"Time to go. Get your stuff," Martha said as the three of them exited the vehicle.

They came to an overpass to get them shelter from the forming tornado. "I was taught that being under a bridge is dangerous because all the debris will go underneath the bridge and hit us," Kara said.

"Shut your mouth," Jonathon replied.

"Hank!" Kara cried out for the dog; he was still inside the truck.

Jonathon frowned as he considered the dog. "Fuck it," he said and ran over to the truck. "Stay with your mother," Jonathon ordered Kara.

Jonathon came to the truck and freed the dog. The dog ran over to Martha and Kara but then Jonathon got stuck in the debris as the tornado approached. "Dad!" Kara shrieked as the tornado came closer.

Other people on the highway were being tossed around and sucked into the tornado vortex. Jonathon turned to his wife and alien daughter and held out his hand. "Death, I embrace you," Jonathon said.

The tornado overwhelmed him and then he was gone.

* * *

Kara ended up in psychiatric counseling after the incident. "My name is Ben Stein, and I am a licensed psychiatrist," he said in a monotone voice.

"Hi," Kara said awkwardly.

"I understand you feel you're responsible for your father's death," Dr. Stein said.

"Yeah, I totally could have saved him and probably lots of other people too," Kara said.

"Now Kara, what makes you think you could have saved your father?" Dr. Stein asked condescendingly.

"Because I'm an alien with super powers," Kara said obviously.

"I see," Dr. Stein said and wrote some notes in his notepad. "I suggest you go to an isolated location and find yourself."

"How do I find myself?" Kara asked.

"Just walk around until some special insight hits you," Dr. Stein said.

* * *

Years later, Kara ended up in Northern Canada during the harsh winter. She found a cage-fighting club in one of the towns. As she walked around the bar, she heard stories of the military suddenly deploying to the region. "Something about a spaceship," one of the men said.

"What about this spaceship?" she asked joining the conversation.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself, missy," the man said condescendingly.

"There's nothing I hate more than aliens," another redneck lumberjack said.

"What's wrong with aliens?" Kara asked offended.

"They come here to take our jobs," he said obviously.

"Why would aliens fly thousands of light years to take your job?" Kara asked.

"Aliens come to Earth and infiltrate human society, right? So, in order to conquer our planet, they have to keep up appearances. So, you know how they do that?" he asked rhetorically.

"By taking our jobs!" the lumberjacks all said and clinked their beer glasses.

Kara was about to say something but found no defense. She was actually looking for a job herself. In the cage was a short muscular man who easily defeated his opponent. "He's been fighting non-stop for two hours. No one can defeat him," one of the men said.

"I'll take that bet," Kara smirked.

Kara entered the cage wearing a t-shirt, pants, and boots. Her opponent had wild hair and was casually smoking a cigar. "I don't mind hitting a woman," he said.

"I don't either," Kara replied.

The man smiled and threw away his finished cigar. "Let's dance, little lady," he said.

The man rushed Kara and punched her in combinations. Kara was surprised by the force of his attacks. No one had come this close to actually becoming a challenge to her. Despite, his punches she barely felt anything. She then punched the man to the ground with one hit. The man was stunned by the attack but immediately got back to his feet. Kara entertained herself with the fight. For every ten times he hit her, she would playfully fight back with a punch or kick. The man just kept coming. Finally, Kara punched him hard enough to the head to knock him out for the required ten seconds.

Kara enjoyed her winnings as almost everyone had bet on her opponent. Suddenly, she was pushed up against the cage. "The name's Logan, and I've never encountered a woman that could beat me," he said aggressively.

Kara stared at him wondering if he could be the one. "I've never encountered a man that could come back from one of my punches before," she said.

The two stared at each other. The sexual chemistry between them was sizzling. "How about we go to my place, and I nurse your wounds," she said seductively.

Logan considered Kara looking her over and even getting in a sniff. "You're not my type," he said finally.

"What is your type?" Kara asked not giving up.

"Hairy," he said simply.

Kara merely stared at him wondering if he was serious. "Okay," Kara said incredulously. "See you around," she said disappointed.

* * *

 **Present Day**

Lois Lane's helicopter arrived in the Arctic at a US Air Force base. "Miss Lane, how are you doing?" the Air Force PR guy said as she landed.

"Good," Lois answered. "How far to the station?"

"Just over the hill," he said. "I have to tell you; the Colonel is a bit of a hard ass."

"I've been shot at by terrorists. I think I can handle it," Lois smiled.

Lois entered the tent and was greeted by Colonel Hardy. "Who the fuck are you?" he said rudely.

"I'm Lois Lane of the Daily Planet," Lois replied.

"You're early. You can sleep outside and freeze. How about that?" Colonel Hardy said.

"Let's get one thing straight, the only reason I'm here is because we're on Canadian soil and an appellate court overruled the military's decision to keep this quiet," Lois said.

"No shit?" Col. Hardy wondered.

"So, if we're measuring dicks, can your people show me what you found?" Lois asked assertively.

"Hell, I like you. Whose dick did you have to suck to get this assignment?"

"I didn't," Lois objected.

"Bullshit!" Col. Hardy doubted. "From now on, the first and last thing out of your filthy mouth will be Sir. Do you understand?"

"Sir...yes...Sir," Lois said mockingly.

"Get your ass in my analyst room," Col. Hardy ordered.

Col Hardy, Lois, and an Air Force analyst looked over a computer. "The object is over three hundred meters," he began.

"A Soviet submarine from the Cold War?" Lois wondered.

"If you let him finish, Miss Lane," Col. Hardy said losing patience.

"The ice around the object is 20,000 years old," he continued.

"So, it's an alien ship," Lois figured.

"Out-fucking-standing. She figured it out before you shit-heads did," Col. Hardy said to his men.

Col. Hardy then led Lois over to a container that had equipment boxes and a cot. "You'll be staying here for tonight. PT in the morning," he said and then closed the door.

Lois busied herself by putting her camera together and then foolishly decided to go outside at night. She took some unauthorized pictures around the base and saw a lightly-dressed blond girl on the ice cliff wall.

"Where are you going?" Lois wondered.

Lois followed the girl around the cliff walls and finally found an unnatural cave. The hole had rifling marks as if a laser had cut into it. She curiously ventured inside the cave. Kara arrived at the spaceship and went inside. There she found a computer console with a key slot. "Good thing I decided to bring this with me," she said as she placed the key in the slot.

A floating drone approached as she came closer to the computer console. It then attacked her from behind whipping her arm. Kara struggled with the drone and slammed the key all the way in ending the attack. "Wow, that actually hurt," Kara said amazed.

Kara then noticed someone around the corner. "Hello?" she said but the figure was gone.

Kara walked around the ship until she heard a commotion from behind. She quickly found Lois in a fight with the drone. Taking action, she took control of the drone and crushed it with her hands.

"I hope that was worth it," Kara said as she threw the destroyed drone away.

Lois looked at Kara fearfully; her camera was destroyed. A soldier then entered the ship and saw Lois on the floor. "Is she injured?" he asked.

Kara scanned Lois with her X-ray vision. "Yeah, in the gut," Kara said queasy.

The solder put down his rifle and began to treat the wound. "We have to evacuate her," he said seriously.

"Who are you?" Kara asked.

"I'm Sergeant Olson, Special Forces. Glad to make your acquaintance. She's hemorrhaging bad," he noted.

"I'll fix the wound with my laser eyes," Kara said thoughtfully.

"What?" Lois asked confused.

"Watch this," Kara said and then used her laser eyes on Lois. Her screams echoed throughout the ship.


	3. Chapter 3

A typical Air Force analyst was asleep on the job as an earthquake occurred in the ice. "Holy Shit!" he said waking up. He ran outside and saw the massive spaceship rip through the ice and float away.

"Well, I'll be damned," Col. Hardy remarked as it left.

"What do we do, Sir?" a frightened Air Man asked.

"We have satellites, don't we? We track the thing. Now, get me some damn coffee!" Col. Hardy ordered.

* * *

Lois Lane arrived back in Metropolis and submitted her story to her editor, Perry White. "This is crap, Lois," he said after reading it.

"I know what I saw. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter...," Lois said.

"Yeah, got it. You could have hallucinated it," Perry said. "Do you have any other witnesses?"

"The Air Force camp all the spaceship rise and fly away," Lois said.

"Yeah, but none of them are talking. Do you have any pictures?" Perry asked.

"The flying alien drone destroyed it," Lois said lamely.

"After all this, there is no story," Perry concluded.

"Print it or I walk," Lois threatened.

"You can't. You're under contract. I own you, Lois. You're my slave, now," Perry said.

Lois exited Perry's office as he laughed behind her.

* * *

Lois entered a bar and had a few drinks. Her contact eventually arrived. "You're late," she said.

"Yeah, well, my mom wouldn't let me go outside until I cleaned my room," a young man with a Mohawk and Hot Topic t-shirt said.

"I'm giving you the story my editor won't print. It needs to get out there," Lois said.

"You do know that I blog for 4Chan," the kid reminded her.

"Yeah, the Internet. I need this out...on the Internet," Lois said flustered.

"Whatever," the kid said and walked off.

* * *

The spaceship landed on some Canadian island. "This is a pretty rad spaceship," Olson complimented.

"Yeah, right. I could probably go anywhere on the planet or the solar system for that matter," Kara said happily.

"It have any weapons?" Olson wondered.

"Let's see," Kara said excitedly. "Computer: weapons fire," she ordered.

The spaceship fired a laser beam that completely annihilated an iceberg. "Awesome!" Olson approved.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take you away from your station. Do you need to get back?" Kara asked.

"Don't worry about it. I'm Special Forces. I go wherever I want. My commander will understand," Olson smiled.

Kara immediately became attracted to this man and wondered if he could be the one. "All my life, I have had a peculiar problem. I wondered if you could help me," she said.

"What problem with that be?" Olson asked.

"No man has ever been able to handle me," Kara said seductively.

"I'm not just any man, miss. I'm Special Forces," Olson replied.

The Kryptonian ship echoed with Kara's screams. "Oh God!" she said as she climaxed.

"Wow, you're so strong and firm," Olson complimented.

"I don't know how you did that but it was awesome," Kara said. "You're a keeper."

Olson stood up totally nude. "You don't want to be my girl, Kara," he began. "I get deployed all over the world. I kill people," he said seriously.

"That's exactly what I want," Kara said excitedly.

"Really?" Olson asked.

"You can be my Superman," Kara said wide-eyed.

"I like the sound of that," Olson smiled.

"Ahem, if I may?" a computer hologram of Jor-El appeared before them.

"What the fuck? How did he get in here?" Olson demanded. Kara immediately covered herself in the alien bed sheets that were translucent.

"Kara, I'm your space-dad."

* * *

Kara and Jimmy gave embarrassed looks as they sat down across from Jor-El's hologram. "So, my name is Kara Zor-El," Kara said.

"What are you? A computer simulation?" Jimmy asked.

"I am the downloaded consciousness of Jor-El, the father of Kara," he said.

"How is that possible? This ship is 20,000 years old," Kara doubted.

"My programming didn't originate with the ship but with your key," Jor-El said.

"So, what if I never found this ship. I would have had a useless flash drive my whole life?" Kara asked.

"I figured you would find this ship eventually," Jor-El replied.

"I have, like, so many questions," Kara began. "Where do I come from?" she asked.

"You come from the planet Krypton, but the planet's core ruptured and all of our civilization is dead," Jor-El said flatly.

"Bummer," Jimmy said sympathetically.

"Didn't you guys have a galactic empire or something?" Kara asked hopefully.

"We did many thousands of your years ago but our colonies withered and died," Jor-El replied. "This scout ship is one of thousands that were sent out into deep space. We established outposts and used great machines to terraform planets for our needs."

"What happened?" Kara asked.

"We exhausted our natural resources, the outposts and space exploration were abandoned, and finally our core collapsed. Your mother and I foresaw the calamity and took steps to ensure your survival," Jor-El answered.

The three of them walked over to another chamber within the ship. It was a large aquarium filled with pods. "All Kryptonians were conceived in chambers such as this," Jor-El pointed out.

"Every child was designed to a pre-determined role in our society as a worker, warrior, or leader. Your mother and I defied the system. By choice, we created you," Jor-El continued.

"What if I child aspired to be something other than what she was intended. What if she aspired to be something greater? You are the embodiment of that belief; Krypton's first natural birth in centuries. Which is why we risked so much to save you," Jor-El added.

"Wow," Kara said embarrassed. "I feel like such a failure," Kara said.

"You will have a longer lifespan than the humans. You can make up for lost time," Jor-El reassured her.

"How many years will it take before she looks old?" Jimmy asked.

"Based off the rotation of this planet to its star, it will take several decades," Jor-El replied.

"Sweet," Jimmy remarked.

"So, no one on Krypton ever had sex?" Kara asked confused.

"It was forbidden as a heresy. We evolved beyond such things to create artificial wombs like this chamber. Sex became unnecessary, even risky," Jor-El said. "However, your mother and I decided to defy the system and the result was you."

"So, every Kryptonian was designed on the genetic level except me. I would have been the retard in my class," Kara realized.

"There is more to life than intelligence, talent, and proficiency. You can go beyond genetic programming to bridge the gap between our two worlds," Jor-El said.

"Why didn't you come with me?" Kara asked.

"We couldn't no matter how much we wanted to. We ran out of money. It's your mother's fault," Jor-El explained.

The three came over to another room that hosted a number of concealed closets. The closet opened revealing a Kryptonian suit. Unlike Jor-El's black uniform, it was red and blue like ancient times. The crest was the same as Jor-El's.

"This must be 20,000 years old," Kara realized.

"It's in good condition," Jor-El said.

"Finally, I will be able to fly without my clothes catching fire," Kara smirked.

"The crest means hope in our language," Jor-El said.

"It looks like an 'S'," Jimmy said thoughtfully.

"You can be a force for good," Jor-El concluded.

* * *

Moments later, Kara exited the ship in her new uniform. It fit perfectly to her skin. She wore red boots that went all the way to her knee caps, a red skirt, a yellow belt around her waist, a blue armored shirt that went down to her wrists, and a red cape behind her. On her chest was a red S-shaped crest.

Jimmy watched smirking as she walked around in the suit. "I'm going to try to fly now, but I'll be right back," she promised.

"I'll be here," Jimmy said.

Kara leaped up into the air and started flying around. She clumsily lost control and plowed straight into a mountain. Jimmy winced at the epic fail. "I'm alright," she said stunned.

She then tried again and this time she flew to all the continents of the world visiting everything she had wanted to see from television. She orbited the Earth a few times and then came back down.

"Impressive speed," Jimmy remarked.

"That was exhilarating," Kara said pleased with herself.

"I bet your punches and kicks would be devastating," Jimmy said.

"Can you train me to be more like you?" Kara asked.

"I'll make you a badass killer," Jimmy agreed.

"Let's do it," Kara smiled enthusiastically.

* * *

Lois Lane came to Smallville and found the Kent residence. "Can I help you?" Martha asked.

"I think your daughter is an alien," Lois said bluntly. "I'm from the Daily Planet."

"I know what Jonathon would say if he were still alive," Martha said reflectively.

"What would that be?" Lois asked hopefully.

"He'd say we'd have to kill you and burry you in a ditch," Martha said.

"Oh, well, I hope you don't want...," Lois stuttered.

"Come on in. I'll get you some tea," Martha said warmly.

* * *

Lois ended up at the cemetery looking down at Jonathon Kent's tombstone. There was a sudden wind hinting Kara's return. "I figured if I turned over enough stones, you would find me," she said.

"Oh yeah?" Jimmy said walking up to her from behind.

"You're not her," Lois said embarrassed.

"You should watch your six more closely," Jimmy said.

"How did you get here?" Lois demanded.

"Ahem," Kara said right in front of her.

Kara was dressed in casual clothes with an annoyed expression. "Where do you come from? Let me tell your story," Lois said.

"I already went over this with Jimmy. I don't want to do it again," Kara said exhausted.

"The world needs to know who you are," Lois pressed.

"Is there money involved?" Kara asked hopefully.

"No," Lois said flatly.

"Look, why should I give my story to you? I had to save your ass in my own ship and then you stalked me across the country to find my hometown," Kara said.

"I'm a Pulitzer prize winning journalist...," Lois said listing her credentials.

"Yeah, got that. I would rather not have the government know where my mother lives," Kara said. "No offense," she added to Jimmy.

"None taken," Jimmy allowed.

"So, we make some stuff up," Lois suggested.

"You have to be the worst reporter I have ever encountered," Kara said.

"It's going to come out eventually one way or another," Lois said.

"I can just disappear whenever I want," Kara pointed out.

"The only way you can disappear for good is to stop helping people," Lois said.

"I'm fine with that," Kara smirked. "I let my own father die horribly in a tornado," she added.

"What do you want to do with your life then?" Lois asked.

"I want to be like Jimmy here. I want to kill and plunder in the shadows," Kara smiled. Kara and Jimmy gave each other high-fives.

"Right," Lois said unimpressed. "In that outfit?"

* * *

Lois came back to work empty-handed. "Lois, get in my office!" Perry bellowed.

"What?" Lois asked annoyed.

"This alien story is all over 4chan," Perry said angrily.

"So?" Lois asked.

"Your name is the source," Perry said.

"Oh," Lois muttered. "I trusted that guy."

"You trusted a 4chan blogger? Are you out of your mind?" Perry asked.

"The world needed to know!" Lois insisted.

"Needed to know what? Needed to know that some blond girl is out in the Canadian wilderness doing odd jobs. That isn't news," Perry said.

"Okay, so, I'll drop it," Lois promised.

"You're in too deep now. Find me that spaceship before someone else does," Perry ordered.

"And what of the girl?" Lois asked.

"She's not important. Find that ship," Perry said.


	4. Chapter 4

Soon thereafter, a Kryptonian ship arrived near Earth with a threatening message. "I am General Zod. We come in peace," Zod said and then turned off the microphone as the Kryptonians all laughed hysterically.

"You harbor one of our citizens. She is a highly dangerous fugitive that could burn your whole world down and bring about the apocalypse. Find her for me, and I will save your world from imminent doom," Zod said and then had the message translated in every major language.

"That should freak them out," Zod grinned.

* * *

The world did indeed freak out. Everyone was out looking for the "alien" that would destroy the world. Martha Kent became concerned about the world-wide manhunt.

"What if they find you?" she asked Kara.

"What of it?" Kara asked dismissively.

"Well, they may not be able to hurt you, but they could make my life a lot harder," Martha complained.

"Yeah right," Kara rolled her eyes.

The President of the United States took to the podium. "I ask that Kara Zor-El report to one of our military bases to be surrendered to Zod. Otherwise civilization itself could unravel. Please be a good girl."

Kara barked out a laugh. "Kara, people are going crazy over this. You need to do something," Martha lectured.

"How is it my fault that people are xenophobic and prone to irrational fear?" Kara asked.

"We don't live in a perfect world," Martha told her.

"Fine, whatever," Kara agreed.

* * *

Kara flew to her Arctic ship and conversed with her space-dad. "Who is this General Zod?" Kara asked. "Can I trust him?"

"No, Kara, he's an asshole," Jor-El replied.

"Alright, what do I do?" Kara asked.

"Find a way to get on his ship, use my key, and I will order a self-destruct sequence," Jor-El said.

"Nice," Kara agreed.

* * *

Kara landed at Area 51, the designated military base for dealing with aliens. Tanks, armored trucks, and Humvees awaited her. Soldiers pointed their rifles at her. General Swanwick and Colonel Hardy were present to greet her.

"How did you find this place?" Gen. Swanwick demanded.

"Please, you can find it on google Earth," Kara said dismissively.

"What do you want?" Gen. Swanwick asked.

"I'm here to surrender to you, so you can surrender me to the Kryptonians," Kara said.

"Why can't you surrender yourself to them?" Gen. Swanwick asked.

"I want to empower you guys," Kara said.

"What's the difference? You just endangered all the men on this installation," Gen. Swanwick said.

"Look, I'm trying to be cool," Kara said.

"Whatever, cuff her," Gen. Swanwick ordered Col. Hardy.

Col. Hardy walked over to Kara to put her in handcuffs. "Is this really necessary?" she asked.

"I'm a slave to appearances," Col. Hardy replied.

Kara was then led inside a number of hallways and then put inside an interrogation room. As she waited, she could hear what was going on in the other interrogation room next door. She didn't even need to use her super-hearing.

"Where is she?!" a gruff voice said. She then heard something slam and then heard it again. Insane laughter followed. Kara tried to use her X-ray vision but the room walls were covered in thin lead. Frustrated, Kara simply waited.

Col. Hardy entered the room and sat down across from Kara. "Had you surrendered to the Kryptonians, things would have been a lot easier. Now that you have surrendered to our custody, we have to fight to the last man to keep you safe," Col. Hardy said.

"Really?" Kara asked feeling guilty.

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you," Col. Hardy said.

"Okay," Kara said not sure where this was going.

"What's your name, scumbag," Col. Hardy asked.

"It's Kara Zor-El," Kara replied.

"From now on, you will be addressed as private Snowball. Do you like that name?" Col. Hardy asked.

"Not really," Kara said. "Is this how you treat all the women you come into contact with?"

"I am hard but I am fair. Everyone is equally worthless," Col. Hardy replied.

"Yeah, I can see that you're hard but far from fair," Kara mocked.

"Well, aren't you a fucking comedian," Col. Hardy replied.

"Is there a point to this?" Kara asked.

"Do you suck dicks?" Col. Hardy asked.

"Sir, I suck just one dick, Sir," Kara mocked.

"Bullshit! What does that 'S' stand for?" he asked.

"It stands for...killer," Kara lied.

"So, you're a killer?" Col. Hardy questioned. "Show me your war face," he demanded.

"My what?" Kara wondered.

"Your war face: AH!" Col. Hardy screamed at her.

"ah," Kara said uncommitted.

"Bullshit, you don't scare me. Do it again," Col. Hardy ordered.

"AH!" Kara screamed while her eyes glowed red.

"Better, work on it," Col. Hardy said unimpressed.

There was a knock on the glass. Kara got up and easily snapped the hand cuffs on her wrists. "I have been ordered by the President to give you up to Zod," Gen. Swanwick said.

"Well...shit," Kara replied.

* * *

The Kryptonian beetle ship arrived in the desert and landed a short distance from the military base. Tanks and infantry had their weapons pointed at it ready for a fight. Helicopters were in the air hovering. Kara was in front with a smirk on her face.

The beetle ship opened up revealing a humanoid wearing black armor. Faora casually walked towards Kara and revealed her face. Her helmet disassembled but a translucent shield remained over her face. She looked over Kara's uniform.

"Really?" she smirked.

"It's old. I got that," Kara said defensively.

"Kara Zor-El, I am sub-commander Faora. On behalf of General Zod, I extend to you his greetings," she said politely.

Kara nodded impressed by the etiquette. "Can I bring Jimmy with me?" she asked. "He would love to see your spaceship."

"Who the fuck is Jimmy?" Faora wondered.

"He's Special Forces," Kara said.

Faora gave her a blank look as if she were a dumb blond, which she was. "Very well," she relented.

"Jimmy, let's go," Kara called out.

"Sweet," Jimmy said from the sidelines.

"Now, just wait a minute. Who do you think you are leaving the planet on some alien ship," Col. Hardy said to him.

"Colonel, I'm Special Forces," Jimmy said.

"I don't give a fuck who you are. This requires a diplomatic solution. If you go up there, you're going to try to kill and fuck everything that moves," Col. Hardy said.

"It's the American Way, Sir," Jimmy said defensively.

"You're silly and ignorant, but you got guts and guts is enough," Col. Hardy allowed.

"Thank you, Sir," Jimmy said and then left with Kara and Faora.

The three entered the beetle ship and accelerated into space.

* * *

While inside the ship, Kara secretly gave Jimmy her key. "Just in case," she said.

"If things go south, I'm blowing up this ship along with myself," Jimmy said softly.

"I expect nothing less," Kara agreed.

Faora came back oblivious to their conversation. "The atmospheric composition of our ship is not compatible with humans. Put this on," she said to Jimmy.

Jimmy placed the device over his head giving him a translucent helmet. The beetle ship then entered the main ship.

General Zod turned to face Kara, Faora, and Jimmy. "Kara Zor-El," Zod immediately recognized. "And who the fuck are you?" Zod asked Jimmy.

"The name's Sergeant Jimmy Olson. I'm Special Forces, elite military unit of Earth," Jimmy said.

"Right," Zod said not sure what to make of him. He then turned to Kara. "You have no idea how long we have been searching for you."

"I take it you're Zod?" Kara asked bluntly.

"General Zod, our commander," Faora barked.

"Down Faora, down!" Zod said to her. "It's alright. Kara is a stranger to our ways," Zod said casually.

"So, what's up?" Kara asked.

"It's time to celebrate," Zod said.

"Excellent," Kara smiled and then felt a sudden sickness. "Oh God!" she said and started puking on the deck.

"Really?" Zod said as she continued to make a mess.

"What's happening to her?" Jimmy asked.

"She's rejecting our atmospherics. You've spent a lifetime adapting to Earth's ecology, but you never adapted to ours," Zod remarked.

"Help her!" Jimmy demanded.

"You giving me orders, Sergeant Jimmy?" Zod questioned.

"I just figured you should help one of your own kind, Sir," Jimmy said with disdain.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You Kara's pet or something?" Zod asked.

"As a matter-of-fact, I'm her lover," Jimmy replied.

"HERSEY!" Zod shouted.

Jimmy looked at all the individuals on the ship. "Even now, none of you have ever had sex?" he asked looking at Faora.

"Some of us take our traditions seriously," Faora replied.

"Really guys? Your planet is destroyed. You're independent now. You can decide your own destiny," Jimmy said.

"We will by making Earth like Krypton. We will make it so that no Kryptonian or human will ever have sex again," Zod pledged.

"You monster!" Jimmy shouted.

"Take him away," Zod said dismissively.

Faora watched Kara as she continued to puke on the deck. "How do we fix her?" she asked.

"There's nothing we can do. It has to work itself out," Zod said.

* * *

Kara woke up on her farm in Smallville. "Hello, Kara," Zod said in his black uniform without his armor. "I was Krypton's military leader, your father its greatest scientist. The only thing we agreed on was that Krypton was fucked. In return for my efforts to save our civilization and planet, I and my fellow officers were sent to the Phantom Zone," Zod began.

"What's a Phantom Zone?" Kara asked.

"It's like another dimension, a black hole in space," Zod explained. "The destruction of our world freed us."

"So, they knew their planet was going to be destroyed, but they sent you criminals to the Phantom Zone knowing full well the planet's destruction would free you," Kara said.

"Yeah, kind of stupid, right? We retrofitted the phantom drive into a hyper drive. We sought out the old colonial outposts looking for signs of life but all we found was death. Cut off from Krypton, these outposts withered and died long ago. We salvaged what we could. For thirty-three years, we prepared until we discovered a distress beacon, which you triggered when you accessed the ancient scout ship," Zod said.

"You led us here, Kara. And now it is within your power to help save what remains of your race. We're going to bring Krypton to Earth," Zod concluded.

"What happens to those already here?" Kara asked.

"The foundation has to be built on something," Zod replied coldly.

"Wait...what? You could terraform Mars or Venus can't you?" Kara asked.

"Venus' atmosphere is 100 times heavier than Earth's, and Mars' atmosphere is 100 times lighter. It would take centuries to terraform either of these planets. Earth's atmosphere has the perfect composition and perfect location to its star," Zod said.

"You could live on Earth while you terraform Venus and Mars in the meantime," Kara suggested.

"And live through years of suffering adapting to Earth's atmosphere? Fuck that," Zod rejected.

"You're suggesting genocide against seven billion people and all the animal and plant species on this planet, because you won't adapt to Earth's environment?" Kara asked incredulous.

"Be a good girl and give me the codex," Zod demanded.

"I don't know where it is. I don't know what a codex is," Kara said honestly.

"The codex has the DNA of a million Kryptonians. We can then utilize it to restart our race using the genesis chamber in the ancient scout ship," Zod said.

"You still keeping the celibacy vow," Kara realized. "Look, I got a better idea. How about your men have fun in the town and impregnate the human population? Then, you could have an army of Kryptonian/human hybrids," Kara suggested.

"Kara, we tried sex a long time ago. It led to disease, death, deformity, and inefficiency," Zod said. "It's either this way or no way."

Kara looked around and noticed she was in a field full of human skulls. "Is this your way of trying to convince me to join you? Showing me thousands of human skulls?"

Kara began to sink into the ground with skulls covering her. "What the fuck is this?" she said as she was being overwhelmed. "I'm not taking part of this. You guys are freaks," Kara said.

"Then what can you be a part of?" Zod asked. He then picked up a skull. "This one is Jimmy's," he said.

"Jimmy?" Kara gasped as skulls crowded around her. "Jimmy, no!" Kara cried out as she was swallowed up by skulls.

* * *

Kara suddenly woke up. "That was the weirdest recruiting video I have ever seen," she said. She then realized she was being restrained and couldn't move.

"Your father condemned us to the Phantom Zone after I saved you from being shot down by Krypton's government. He was a dick, Kara," Zod said softly.

Kara continued to struggle. "It is pointless to resist, my child. The sun's radiation has been neutralized inside this ship. Here, you are as weak as a human," the scientist said in a creepy voice.

"What are you going to do to me?" Kara asked fearfully.

"I merely want to take a blood test," he said.

"Oh, that doesn't sound so bad," Kara said.

"Indeed, but I always conduct blood tests...anally," the scientist grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

Jimmy was escorted by a female Kryptonian soldier. "I know a few guys back home that would love to give you a ride," Jimmy said.

"I'm not into men," she said gruffly and threw him into a room. The door then became locked behind him.

"Damn it, a POW again," Jimmy muttered.

He then saw a convenient computer panel in the room and considered the key Kara had given him. "It's like having a computer or phone in a prison cell," Jimmy remarked.

He placed the key inside the slot but nothing happened. He turned around and was face-to-face with Jor-El. "Holy fuck, you startled me," Jimmy said. "Where did you come from?"

"I am uploading into the ship's mainframe. First, I am going to modify the atmospherics on the ship, so you can take that silly helmet off, and then the Kryptonians on board this ship will begin to suffocate," Jor-El said.

"Sweet," Jimmy agreed.

Jor-El opened the door to the room allowing Jimmy free movement. The same Kryptonian female came after him with a laser pistol. The door suddenly closed at exactly the right timing for her to drop the pistol into his room. Jimmy held the pistol. "Time to kick some ass," he said excitedly.

Kara found herself strengthening as the air became like Earths. She broke the restraints and confronted the scientist. Her eyes glowed red as she fired on his balls. "No!" the scientist cried out in pain.

"You weren't using them anyway," Kara said and then knocked him out with a kick to the head.

Jimmy went through the ship firing on Kryptonians with his laser pistol. He was receiving guidance from Jor-El who was covering his six the whole time. Jor-El led Jimmy to the escape pods.

"Wait, I'm not done," Jimmy said. "We could take control of the ship," he said.

"Their system is already trying to expel my program," Jor-El said. "You should leave while you can."

"Alright," Jimmy agreed and went into one of the pods. A Kryptonian woman fired on his pod as it escaped compromising its structural integrity.

Kara looked out the window and saw Jimmy's damaged pod. "Jimmy!" she realized. She punched through the wall and went after him. She caught up to his pod and slowed down his descent. As he continued to fall, Kara ripped open the pod and grabbed Jimmy just as it crashed in a Kansas field.

"Wow, what a coincidence I landed in Kansas," Jimmy said.

"I know, right," Kara agreed. "You cool?"

"I can make it from here. Thanks for the ride," Jimmy said thankfully.

Kara then noticed something wrong. She flew off towards her mom's house.

* * *

Two beetle ships arrived near Smallvile, Kansas towards the Kents' residence. The dog, Krypto, barked as the beetle ships landed at Martha's house. Zod, Faora, and Non approached Martha as she stood outside.

"The craft she arrived in. Where is it?" Zod demanded.

"Go to hell," Martha spat.

Faora picked Martha up by the neck. "There," Zod said noticing Martha eyeing the barn.

Faora threw Martha down and tore through the barn. She found the ship and opened it up. Yet, there was no sign of the codex. "The codex is not here," she said.

"Really? You spent like thirty seconds looking for it," Zod said.

"Honestly, I don't even know what it looks like," Faora admitted.

Zod immediately got pissed off and threw Martha's Dodge Ram truck into the house. "Where has she hidden it?" Zod demanded of Martha.

"I don't know," she said truthfully.

"Where is the codex!" Zod shouted at her.

A blue and red blur accelerated towards Zod faster than he could react. "Oh shit!" he said as he was carried away.

Faora and Non shrugged as the Zod was taken away by Kara. "We should probably leave someone behind to guard this woman," Faora said.

"But this could be the first real fight in decades," Non complained.

"I know, right. Fuck it, let's go," Faora said.

* * *

Kara carried Zod away slamming them both through farming silos and through corn fields. "You think you can threaten my mother?!" Kara said as she punched him repeatedly.

The two crashed into a 7/11 gas station which promptly exploded. Kara ended up dragged across the pavement while Zod was engulfed in flames. Zod got back up and saw that his cape was on fire. "Holy Shit, where did that come from?" he asked amazed. He threw his cape aside and looked around.

Kara slowly got back to her feet. "You know; my men are still with your mother. I could order her dead by radio," Zod said.

"Sorry man, let's start over," Kara offered.

"Of course," Zod said about to shake her hand.

A beetle ship then blasted Kara to the ground. "Pwned!" Zod smirked withdrawing his hand.

Zod then released his translucent helmet shield that was no longer working. He could see through his hand and hear sounds everywhere. "What the fuck is this?" he asked aloud.

"My parents taught me to home in my senses. You're experiencing everything all at once. It hurts doesn't it?" Kara said.

"This is very inconvenient," Zod said.

"I know, right," Kara smirked.

"Oh well, I will have my men "soften" you up and then we will take the codex from you," Zod said walking towards his ship.

"What? You can't just leave," Kara said flabbergasted.

"I think I just did," Zod said giving Kara the middle finger and walked into his ship.

The two beetle ships flew off, but Kara soon realized she wasn't alone. In the distance, Faora and Non casually walked down main street.

Meanwhile, three A-10 Warthog fighters and five MD helicopters approached Smallville. Col. Hardy was already present in one of the helicopters. "I have seen the aliens in action, and they are extremely dangerous. Let's fuck them up."

"Rodger, Sir, weapons free," the Warthog pilot said as they got closer.

Kara sensed something and looked over her shoulder. "What the...," she wondered as the Warthogs fired on all three of them.

The Warthogs fired off 4000 30mm uranium armor piercing rounds per minute each. Kara immediately sped away as the bullets came raining down. Faora also tried to get out of the way, but Non was too stupid to realize it in time. He was hit several times and knocked to the ground.

"That's it. Fuck them up!" Col. Hardy said.

"Rodger, repeat weapons free," the Warthog pilots said as they came in for another attack.

Non shook his head and leaped up against one of the Warthogs. He busted its nose, then tore through cockpit instantly killing the pilot, and caused the plane to crash. The plane exploded through main street. Faora went through the fire and debris and attacked the second plane. Kara came in just in time and caught Faora. The two slammed into an Ihop.

"Well...at least I'm not in a Denny's," Kara noted.

Faora suddenly slammed Kara against some tables. "Bitch, it's on," Kara said and went for a strike. Faora easily dodged her and punched her a few times. "You're weak, daughter of El. Unsure of yourself," Faora judged.

"Hey, I'm just warming up. You don't have to be all serious," Kara said.

"I am genetically designed to kick your ass. That gives me an evolutionary advantage," Faora said confidently.

"Oh really?" Kara doubted.

"And if history has proven anything...," Faora said as she threw Kara into a Wels Fargo bank.

Kara slammed through the bank and hit its vault. Faora landed blocking her escape. "You were saying?" Kara said catching her breath.

"It is that evolution always wins," Faora concluded.

"Yeah, if I had a choice between a rat and a T-Rex, I would go with the T-Rex," Kara said.

"What?" Faora wondered.

Kara flew at Faora and punched her into a dump truck. "Ha! Home team for the win," Kara said amused.

Kara went after Faora as she escaped from the truck, but Non intervened. "Oh, no fair tag teaming," Kara said as Non slammed her into the pavement.

Non then kicked Kara along the pavement and was then sucker punched by Faora. Kara stayed on the pavement groaning from the pain. "This sucks. I'm going to play dead," she said.

* * *

Helicopters landed and dropped Rangers off to engage the Kryptonians. They went around the cars with their rifles ready. Meanwhile, Non and Faora continued to beat on Kara as a coordinated team. Non threw her into a Best Buy wrecking the place.

"Our Geek Squad can fix anything. Oh God!" a Best Buy associate said as the two Kryptonians demolished everything. The two fought through the store until Kara punched Non hard enough that he landed in a Bath and Beyond.

"What the fuck?" Non wondered looking around.

Kara landed inside and looked over a few products. Her hair was a mess. "After I am done fighting this retard, I need some of that Olay shampoo," Kara said to an associate.

Non charged Kara but was slammed to the ground. "Have some perfume, motherfucker," Kara said putting a whole bottle of perfume inside his helmet. Non screamed in rage. He grabbed Kara and the two of them leaped back onto main street.

"Engage all targets," Col. Hardy ordered.

"You got to be fucking kidding me," the Ranger commander said after seeing the three of them fight.

Two helicopters fired on the three Kryptonians with 30mm rounds. Kara fired heat vision on both helicopters forcing them to the ground. "Now, let's continue," she said to the other two.

Non engaged Kara but quickly got his ass handed to him unexpectedly. Kara forced him inside a Uhaul van and gave him the boot across the country-side. Non came back with a vengeance, but Kara tossed him into an oil tanker on the train tracks causing an explosion.

Faora, meanwhile, attacked the Rangers defeating each one with ease. Col. Hardy's helicopter crash landed. "Put everything you got on my position," he ordered.

"Uhmm...Sir, there's still civilians in the town," the radio replied.

"I don't give a fuck!" Col. Hardy shouted.

"Rodger that," the radio replied.

Faora noticed the Colonel as he grabbed an MP5. He fired on her until he ran out of bullets. Then he got out his pistol and fired at her head without result. Faora merely smirked at his attempts.

"I got just one question for you, alien bitch," Col. Hardy said as he reached for his knife.

Faora likewise took out a blade. "And what would that be?"

"Do you suck dick?!" he asked.

Faora was then suddenly hit by Kara. "That was my kill, asshole," Col. Hardy said to Kara.

"I have had enough of your shit, Colonel," Kara yelled back.

Faora tensed up in pain as her helmet shield went down. She could see and hear everything unrestricted. "You will not win," she said to Kara.

"For every human you save, we will kill a million more," Faora said painfully.

"Yeah, I don't give a shit," Kara replied.

"Wait...what?" Faora said confused and was then hit by a missile.

The explosion knocked her out. "Nice hit," Kara said impressed.

"Yeah, we didn't need your help in the first place," Col. Hardy said rudely.

"Wait just a minute, I softened her up. Your Rangers got their asses handed to them," Kara said.

"How dare you disrespect my Rangers. You better unfuck yourself," Col. Hardy yelled.

A train engine suddenly hit Kara taking her away. "Well, that will do it," Col. Hardy allowed.

The two remaining Warthogs were destroyed by the Kryptonian beetle ship. Non took Faora away and headed into outer space. Kara walked out of the wreckage unhurt. "Well, that was pointless," she said.

Rangers surrounded her as she walked out of the ruined Sears. "Well, private Snowball, not bad," Col. Hardy said as things cooled down.

Thanks, Colonel. I'm taking off to see my mom," Kara said and then took off.

"I didn't say you could leave!" Col. Hardy yelled after her. He turned to the other Rangers. "This is why we can't have women in the infantry."

"Aren't you in the chair-force, Sir?" one Ranger said.

"Who the fuck said that? Which of you fucks just signed his own death warrant," Col. Hardy raged.


	6. Chapter 6

Kara landed near her house and found it nearly demolished. Martha was collecting old photo albums. "You probably shouldn't be in there. It could collapse at any moment," Kara said.

"Yeah, and you shouldn't have left me with those aliens to die," she shot back.

"Like, I could fight all three at once," Kara scoffed.

"You could have taken me away or something," Martha argued.

"You would fry in the atmosphere," Kara argued.

"Look, I don't want to argue about it. We're safe. That's what matters. Where did you get that outfit?" Martha asked.

"In my alien ship," Kara said.

"It looks really revealing all skin-tight...," Martha critiqued.

"It covers my whole body. It's never enough with you," Kara said annoyed.

"I'm just saying people are going to fetishize it," Martha said.

Lois then interrupted the two. "I know how to stop them," she said.

"Who?" Kara asked sarcastically.

Martha swat her on the head, "Be nice."

"Okay, what's your great plan?" Kara asked.

* * *

A very pissed-off General Zod walked around his ship all determined. "Did we get any information out of her on where the codex is?" Zod asked his men.

"Sir, the codex is actually in her cells. I took a blood sample and discovered DNA fragments of millions of Kryptonians," the scientist said. "We will need a larger sample, like a body."

"Does Kara Zor-El have to be alive for this procedure?" Zod asked.

"No," the scientist replied.

"Well, let's release the world engine and get this show on the road," Zod said.

"Sir, shouldn't we neutralized Kara-Zor El before exposing our most valuable asset," Faora said.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Zod agreed. "But she could go into hiding, and we would never find her. Let's take a vote. How many of you want to stay on this cramped vessel for another few years?" Zod asked.

No one raised their hand. "I thought so. Release the Kraken!"

The two ships separated and then entered Earth's atmosphere. The world engine landed in the South Indian Ocean while the main ship landed in Metropolis. "Sir, is it wise to put our ship in a major population zone in the strongest military super power on this planet?" Faora asked.

"Please, like the humans could actually hurt us," Zod said dismissively.

"They do have primitive nuclear technology," Faora pointed out.

"That's why we're landing in a major city to use the civilian population as a human shield. They wouldn't dare bomb their own civilian population," Zod reasoned.

"True, but our world engine is not in a populated area and our main ship is slaved to it," Faora pointed out.

"Why do you have to hate, Faora? Anyway, I'm going to the scout ship to meet an old friend," Zod said.

* * *

Lois, Jimmy, Gen. Swanwick, Col. Hardy, and Kara came together to discuss the great plan. "We can use the space pod that brought Kara to Earth. If the phantom drive in the space pod interacts with the phantom drive of their ship, it will create a singularity?" Lois said.

"What the fuck is that?" Col. Hardy asked frustrated.

"A black hole," Gen. Swanwick assumed.

"Right, it will send them all into a black hole," Lois said proud of herself.

"First of all, Miss Lane, is a phantom drive even real science? I mean, what is that?" Gen. Swanwick asked.

"It's just what they call it," Kara said.

"How do you know this black hole won't suck up the entire city of Metropolis and destroy our planet?" Gen. Swanwick asked.

"I don't," Lois said flatly. "But if we do nothing, the Kryptonians will terraform our planet killing everything," Lois said.

"I think it would be a safer bet to just nuke it," Col. Hardy suggested.

"Yeah, but with this plan we can put all the blame on Kara if it goes wrong. It is alien technology after all. I'm covering my ass," Gen. Swanwick replied.

"How do we cause the phantom drives to come together?" Jimmy asked.

"We're going to bomb the shit out of them. We use one of our bombers and we ram it!" Col. Hardy said excited.

"Fuck yeah, Sir. Sign me up," Jimmy said.

Kara confronted Jimmy. "I don't want you sucked into a black hole."

"Babe, I'll come back to you. I promise," Jimmy said.

"You're coming too, maggot," Col. Hardy said to Lois.

"Why?" she questioned.

"In case this goes south, we can blame you. Now, get your ass on the plane," Col. Hardy ordered.

Lois sighed and left with Jimmy onto the bomber. "I'll take care of the world engine in the South Indian Ocean," Kara said.

Kara then launched herself into the air and flew towards India. "We better contact our Indian friends just in case," Col. Hardy suggested to Gen. Swanwick.

* * *

Gen. Zod landed in the Arctic and found the scout ship. He entered the ship and placed his own key in the control panel. "Don't do this, Zod," Jor-El said behind him.

"Holy Shit!" Zod said startled.

"Our two peoples can co-exist peacefully," Jor-El said.

"Yeah, but it would suck for several years," Zod pointed out.

"You're talking about genocide," Jor-El reminded him.

"And I'm arguing its merits with a ghost," Zod said rudely. "Computer, quarantine this program."

"You won't delete me, Zod," Jor-El said confidently.

"Oh Really?" Zod replied.

"No Balls," Jor-El said.

Zod pushed in his key for emphasis and then Jor-El's programming was gone for good.

The scout ship took off from the Canadian island towards Metropolis.

* * *

Meanwhile, Faora oversaw the destruction of Metropolis. Buildings around the ship were flattened and destroyed by the gravity beam being sent into the ground. Slowly but surely, the mass of the planet was increasing to that of Krypton. Tens of thousands of people were killed within minutes. Faora smirked in satisfaction. US Air Force jets fired missiles at the ship but the missiles went down towards the ground exploding in the city.

"We should probably shoot our missiles from above instead of from the side, over," a US Air Force pilot said.

"Rodger, shoot from above, Oh God!" the second pilot said as his plane got too close to the gravity well.

"I'll remind you that we can fire missiles from miles away. We do not need to get that close, over," the US Air Force pilot said.

The bomber carrying the Kryptonian spacepod slowly made its way towards Metropolis with two jets escorting it.

* * *

Kara raced towards the world engine in the Indian Ocean. Once she got there, she became overwhelmed by the pollution being produced. Additionally, the world engine launched robotic arms to protect itself from attackers. Kara fired heat vision on the world engine without effect. She then approached the ship with the intent of punching it into submission. The robotic limbs captured her and snaked around her body. The pollution went into her lungs giving her a coughing fit.

An Indian jet squadron approached the world engine and fired a single missile. The robotic limbs continued to squeeze Kara ignoring the incoming missile. "Don't...come again," the Indian pilot said as the missile impacted.

The nuclear explosion ripped the world engine apart. The squadron sped off staying a safe distance away from the blast. Kara and the world engine felt the full force of the hit. The world engine stopped working and fell apart. Kara was tossed onto an island. "Really?" was all she could say as she passed out.

As soon as the Indian world engine stopped functioning, the world engine in Metropolis shut down giving the city relief for a few moments.

* * *

Lois and Jimmy went into the cargo area of the bomber holding the Kryptonian spaceship. Lois placed the key in the slot, but it hovered an inch above the slot. Lois tried to get it to go in, but it refused. "It won't go in," she shouted over the noise of the aircraft.

"That's what she said," Jimmy joked.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Lois repeated not tracking.

"What is your malfunction numb-nuts," Col. Hardy shouted through the radio.

"It won't go in. It's supposed to go in all the way," Lois said.

"Ha! That's what she said," Col. Hardy joked.

The two escorting jets exploded as they were fired upon by the Kryptonian ship piloted by Zod. "Hurry the fuck up!" Col. Hardy ordered.

* * *

Kara flew into the Kryptonian ship and landed in the cockpit. She glared at Zod with red-hot eyes. "If you destroy this ship, you destroy Krypton!" he shouted.

"I just want my ship back," Kara said slicing Zod's chair off from the rest of the ship.

"You crazy bitch!" Zod shouted as the ship went straight into the city. Kara and Zod braced themselves as the ship sliced through several skyscrapers before crashing. The water tank with the artificial womb chamber cracked open ruining it.

* * *

With Zod out of action, Faora took the initiative taking a flying pod towards the bomber. She opened the doors, so she could leap inside the bomber. Jimmy gave the floating key a flustered look. "I think we have to treat it like a lady," he said.

"What do you mean?" Lois asked freaking out.

"You have to get her on her side," Jimmy smirked. He rotated the pod and the key went in. Faora blasted through the plane sending a hapless airman to his doom. US Airmen and Jimmy fired on Faora with bullets and grenades without effect. Faora smacked down each of the men and moved towards the cockpit.

"Get that ship ready! You fix alien hardware as fast as old people fuck!" Col. Hardy shouted.

Faora busted through into the cockpit and defeated two airmen to get to Col. Hardy. Meanwhile, the Kryptonian ship became energetic with blue energy. Jimmy quickly got a parachute on and went over to Lois.

"Take my hand," he said.

"Is this really safe?" she questioned.

"Don't be such a pussy," Jimmy said and threw them both out of the bomber.

Col. Hardy faced down Faora. "You didn't answer my question," he said bravely.

"What question was that?" Faora asked impatiently.

"DO YOU SUCK DICKS?!" Col. Hardy asked and then sent the bomber straight into the world engine. The bomber exploded and the Kryptonian ship created a singularity. All of the Kryptonians onboard were immediately sucked into the black hole. The world engine gradually was shallowed up by the black hole and disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

Jimmy and Lois parachuted away from the explosion and back hole in the sky. As the singularity became stronger, they stopped falling and went towards it. "Jimmy, we're not going down," Lois said fearfully.

"Don't worry. I'm Special Forces," Jimmy replied.

Kara got out of the wreckage and saw the lone parachute about to get sucked into the black hole. "Jimmy," she realized.

Jimmy unhooked the parachute causing them to fall. "We should probably escape now," he said.

"But now we're falling to the ground," Lois complained.

"It's no pleasing with you," Jimmy grumbled.

Kara caught them both and used her strength to pull free of the black hole's pull. The three landed in a large area where buildings used to be. "I hope this doesn't put you off flying. Statistically speaking, it is the safest way to travel," Kara reminded them.

Lois simply gave Kara an exhausted look. Jimmy came over to Kara. "You look like you've had a rough day," he said.

"I got nuked...by Indians," she nodded.

"Want to make out?" Jimmy asked.

"Sure," Kara smiled.

Lois simply had her arms crossed as the two made out in the destroyed city. "I think you're forgetting something," Lois pointed out.

Kara looked over and saw Zod moving out of the wreckage. "Shit!" she realized.

Zod was on his knees devastated as his hopes and dreams were dashed. Kara flew over to him but kept her distance. "Look at this shit," he said sadly as he put dirt in his gloved hand.

"This could have been a new Krypton in this squalor, but you sided with the humans over us," Zod said dismayed.

"I was genetically programmed to be a warrior and defend my people. And every action that I take, no matter how fucked up, is for the greater good of my people. That was the sole purpose of my birth and now I have no people," he said angrily.

"That is what you have taken from me!" he concluded. "What do you have to say to this?"

"America," Kara said softly.

Zod rushed Kara and elbowed her hard across the field. "I'm going to kill each and every human one-by-one," Zod said.

"Including Jimmy?" Kara wondered.

"Yes, even him," Zod replied.

"You monster!" Kara cried out and flew at him.

The two met in the center creating a crater in the field. Kara was tossed into Wayne tower. Zod leaped into the building and attempted to use his heat vision for the first time. He fired off random laser bursts through the building.

* * *

The Wayne helicopter arrived in Metropolis as the world engine continued to blast Metropolis. US Air Force jets were falling out of the sky and exploding a short distance away. Bruce got out of the helicopter wearing a nice suit and shades.

"It's just terrible, Mr. Wayne," the pilot said.

"Yeah, too bad Batman isn't here," Bruce remarked.

"What?" the pilot asked.

"Never mind, where's my car?" Bruce said impatiently.

Bruce walked up to his SUV and drove like a madman through the city. As he went through the crowded streets, Bruce listened to classical music to drone out the screams of terror around him. He then took out a refreshing beer and started drinking it.

After nearly hitting a few cars, Bruce used his cell phone to call Jack still in Wayne tower. "So, yeah, get everyone out of the building," Bruce said casually.

"You really mean it, Sir? We can get off early?" Jack asked surprised. Looking out the window, he could see the world engine flatten the buildings around him.

"Look, this is a special case. Don't think it will happen again. Everyone is to come in on Sunday to make up for it," Bruce said.

"Thank you, Mr. Wayne, thank you. God Bless you," Jack said.

"Alright, see you later," Bruce said.

* * *

Kara suddenly slammed into Wayne tower shaking its very foundation. Jack began a prayer as lasers sliced around his floor. "Hail, Satan," he said softly as the building collapsed.

Bruce got out his car as Wayne tower collapsed. "God damn it, Shit, Fuck!" he said as the tower fell over. As the building hit the ground, dust swarmed the area.

Kara flew out of the ruined Wayne tower and Zod followed after her. The two fought in the air, and Kara was thrown into a parking center nearly destroying it. Zod kicked an oil truck at Kara. She managed to fly above it, but it exploded creating a large fireball.

"So pretty," Kara said as the flames roared around her.

Zod caught her distracted and started punching her. Kara punched back but then Zod kicked her to the ground. As she got up, Zod upper cut her high into the air. Zod leaped up the building to get to Kara who was casually flying.

"I guess he can't fly," she figured.

She flew down towards him and impacted in the center of the building causing multiple floors to collapse. Kara punched Zod into an unfinished building and then chased after him. As soon as she got there, Zod was ready to smack her with a piece of iron. Kara immediately used her heat vision on the iron cutting it in half but was still hit none-the-less by what was left of it. The sign that said 160 days of no accidents turned to 0 as Kara hit it.

"I was bred to be warrior. I trained my whole life to home in my senses. Where did you train? On a farm?" Zod said angrily.

"Actually...," Kara smiled as she recalled how she had never done a day's worth of farm work.

Zod unfastened his armor freeing himself of it. He rose into the air learning to fly for the first time. "Wow, you can fly now," Kara realized.

"I am going to open a can of whoop ass, now," Zod said.

Kara smirked and flew at Zod sending them both high in the air. The two battled with one another punching and kicking in the air. Kara got the better of the fight but then Zod disappeared in the city. Kara flew around looking for him. Zod came out of nowhere from inside a building and attacked her. The two crashed into some buildings and then Zod took hold her cape. He spun her around-and-around until he released her into several buildings.

Kara tumbled through these buildings and was then hit by Zod as she exited the last building. He wrestled with her into outer space. Kara tossed Zod into a satellite that happened to be owned by Bruce Wayne. Zod and Kara broke up the satellite and fell back into Earth's atmosphere.

* * *

"Time to play hero," Bruce said to himself and then checked his smile in the car mirror to make sure it was perfectly white.

Bruce ran into the dust and found some of his employees trapped under rubble. He came across Wallace Keef who was on the ground pinned down by an iron bar. "Wally?" Bruce recalled.

"Boss," Wallace said hopefully upon seeing him.

Bruce reached down and lifted the iron bar. He lifted it a few inches and then it fell right down on Keef's legs. "Oh God!" he said painfully.

"Alright, I'm a little out of shape," Bruce admitted.

"Please help me!" Keef screamed.

Bruce did a few stretches and tried again. The bar, again, slammed back down on Keef's legs. "I think the only way to save you is to amputate your legs," Bruce said gravely.

"What? You can't get something to move the bar off me?" Keef asked incredulous.

"I'm afraid not. Wait here while I get a saw," Bruce said.

Suddenly, Bruce saw a little girl about to be crushed. Bruce sprang into action and saved the girl just in time. "Where's your mom?" Bruce asked.

The girl pointed to the building. "Damn," Bruce remarked. "Well, shit," he concluded.

"What do I do now?" the little girl asked.

"How do you feel about bats?" Bruce asked.

"What?" the girl said.

Bruce was no longer paying attention. His satellite was burning up in Earth's atmosphere causing more destruction. He then saw Kara and Zod fighting in the air. "Damn it, why did it have to be in the day?"

* * *

Kara and Zod slammed into the roof of a train station center and then cracked the floor as they landed. Kara had Zod in a headlock, but he was still struggling against her. "How?" he asked as he couldn't get free of her.

"I would think it would be obvious to you guys. I've been on this planet my whole life. You guys come in a few days ago, and thought you would have the same strength as me? Please." Kara said.

"But you were raised on a farm," Zod objected.

"I've been training with Special Forces for a while now before you even arrived," Kara said. "Still, you did give me the best fight I have ever had," Kara complimented.

"You've been toying with me this whole time?" Zod asked outraged.

"Of course I did. It wouldn't be any fun if I defeated you within the first few seconds of the fight," Kara said as if it were obvious.

"I thought you loved the humans. You let all of those people die," Zod pointed out.

"I am not so much for humanity as I am against you. If you weren't such an asshole, maybe things would have worked out. We could have had our own planet and civilization. But you had to wreck my home and threaten Jimmy," Kara said.

"Who...the...fuck is Jimmy?" Zod gasped as Kara tightened her grip.

"Okay, I'm done," Kara said and then snapped Zod's neck.

Zod fell to the floor dead. Kara dusted off her hands and looked around at the frightened people around her. "What?" she said upon seeing their expression.

Lois entered the train station and found Kara and Zod's dead body. Jimmy was with her as well. "Nice," Jimmy said as he took pictures of Zod's dead body.

"Are you alright?" Lois asked concerned.

"Never better," Kara said.

"The two of you nearly destroyed the city," Lois remarked.

"He was a tough cookie," Kara said.

Jimmy continued to take shots. "Let's get a shot of you standing over the body."

Kara grinned and put her boot heal on Zod's body as she stood over him. "Alright, I need you to give me your war face," Jimmy said as he looked through his camera.

Kara gave her most determine face she could without laughing. "Got it," Jimmy said.

"Jimmy! This is a human rights violation to take pictures of a dead combatant," Lois objected.

"You have no idea how much these will sell for," Jimmy pointed out.

"I get at least half of the proceeds," Kara said.

"Sure," Jimmy nodded nonchalant.

"Alright, I should probably incinerate the body in case the government tries an experiment that creates an abomination," Kara said thoughtfully.

"Wait, Kara. What if the government does create an abomination? It would be even more powerful," Jimmy said.

"Right, I might finally have a challenge," Kara agreed nodding her head.

"Are you two crazy. The world is at stake," Lois said.

"I thought burning a dead combatant was a human rights violation too," Jimmy mocked.

"Fine, whatever," Lois said giving up.

* * *

Kara Kent entered the Daily Planet skyscraper and found the right office. "You'll do fine," Lois smiled at her as she approached Perry's office. Kara wasn't so sure as she entered his office.

"This resume is crap," Perry said.

"I have a recommendation from Lois Lane, a Pulitzer Prize journalist," Kara said brightly.

"Do you even know what a Pulitzer Prize is?" Perry asked skeptically.

"No, not really," Kara admitted.

"Unbelievable. Do you have any journalism experience?" Perry asked.

"One time I wrote an editorial about how the government should pay Kansas farmers not to farm," Kara said helpfully.

"Fascinating. Do you know anything about Football?" Perry asked.

"International or American football?" Kara asked.

"Kara, there is only one Football," Perry corrected. He sighed and looked at Kara as if he recognized her from somewhere else.

"What do you bring to the table?" Perry asked.

"I have a lifetime free flight membership," Kara said.

"You're hired," Perry agreed.

Kara left Perry's office and muttered "Cheap ass" as she exited.

"How did it go?" Lois asked concerned.

"I got the job," Kara smiled.

"Welcome to the Planet," Lois smiled.

"But I am already on the planet. I've been here thirty-three years," Kara pointed out.

"You ruined it. I can't believe you ruined this moment," Lois said shaking her head.

Jimmy entered the office with a camera in hand. "Jimmy, what are you doing here?" Kara asked happily.

"I work for the planet now as a part-time photographer, part-time mercenary," he said casually.

"Shoot, photograph, and mount," Kara smiled.

"Hell yeah," Jimmy agreed. "What shall we hunt this time, lions, tigers, or bears?"

Kara looked over at a random computer screen and saw something of interest. "How about a Bat?"


End file.
